Is trending on Twitter today because – and we have this from a reliable source – somebody kicked the plug out of the wall at Instagram HQ.
Earlier today we conducted this in-depth interview with a senior Instagram official who had this to say :
Excuse all the technical mumbo jumbo.
Anyways, this isn’t the first time Instagram has stopped working, so we’re here to prepare you for #instagramdown43. Here are some things to do when your well-practised scrolling thumb gets an unwanted rest.
Go on Twitter
Twitter people are hilarious. Whenever Instagram goes down, this kind of thing happens…
— Shan (@shanuddin889) June 13, 2019
Instagram: We’re sorry, but something went wrong. Please try again.
— Common Girl 💅🏻 (@girlhoodposts) June 13, 2019
— E I K V E E R 🌻 (@eikveer) June 13, 2019
‘Outside’ is this place where there is sun and fresh air and activities that don’t involve scrolling. I went outside and it was all big and scary so I came back inside again.
But hey, you do you.
I mean real TV, not Netflix or any other streaming service where your favourite shows just appear magically and you can watch them until you pass out from too much enjoyment.
Turn on the television and scroll through channels until you find something you like. Studies have shown this takes around 15 hours, so Instagram will definitely be back up and the whole exercise will have been pointless.
Bake a Cake
And not just any cake – bake this ridiculous Ferrero Rocher Cake that we found on livforcake.com!
And when you’ve finished, send it to us with a few coffees and we’ll be your very best friend.
Clean Out Your Junk Drawer
I found 27 batteries, my original birth certificate, a rare Pokemon card and half a sandwich that had turned a weird shade of blue for some reason.
Legally Change Your Name
Lenny Kravitz (good for booking tables in a restaurant)
Little Froo Froo
Starbucks Cup (funny when giving your name at Starbucks)
Name Name (same as above – “What’s your name?” “Name Name.”)
Speak to a Telemarketer
These people have never had a proper conversation with a human. Usually, they get hung up on or told to @#$#!@ within 15 seconds of the call starting. Engaging with these people totally freaks them out.
“Hello, I’d like to talk to you about life insurance.”
“Oh, how fascinating. Yes, I’d love to learn more about my options when it comes to life insurance, and in fact any other insurances you offer.”
“Do you have a terms and conditions document that you could read to me in full?”
“Before you do, can I get you to explain your services and why I should choose your organisation, in detail?”
This is easily fill in 40 minutes and when Instagram comes back online you can just hang up!
Instagram being down isn’t the end of the world, because it won’t last for long. If it does, Zuckerburg heads over to the Instagram offices with a group of Artificial Intelligence Killbots and deals with the guy who knocked the plug out of the wall. So you don’t have long to bake us that cake – get a move on!